Monday Musings #3
Courageous Leadership Through Values, Vulnerability, and Armour
Happy Monday, and welcome to another episode of Monday Musings.
Recently, I’ve been reflecting on a fireside conversation between Brené Brown and Reid Hoffman at the Masters of Scale Summit, where they explored leadership traits and I have looked at them from unintentional leader perspective; from the bottom up.
Over the next few weeks, I’ll be unpacking themes from their discussion: courage, empathy, compassion, resilience, productive urgency, and more. My hope is that these reflections will resonate with those stepping up into leadership for the first time, those finding themselves unexpectedly in the “go ask so-and-so” category, or anyone navigating the complex terrain of leading others.
Today, we begin with courage.
Picture this: you’re under pressure, fires erupting left, right, and centre. It’s a fight-or-flight kind of day (we all have them), and adrenaline is the only fuel keeping you upright. In these moments, courage becomes your lifeline to the other side.
Putting on Your Armour
When the heat intensifies, many of us slip into what Brown calls “armour mode”, a protective stance that masquerades as decisive leadership but is actually a form of self-preservation disguised as competence.
My armour comes in several shapes and sizes. Like Brown, my primary defensive mechanism is decisiveness. I present a façade of “I know what I’m doing” to my team, projecting competence and control. Often, this couldn’t be further from the truth. Most problems I face are firsts, situations without precedent or blueprint.
Other forms of armour I deploy include:
• Over-activity: I feel compelled to be visibly busy, as if constant motion proves I’m tackling the issues head-on.
• Ultra-defensiveness: I shoulder the entire burden, even when the problem wasn’t caused by me or can’t be solved alone.
• Micromanagement: I lose my ability to trust and empower others, which inevitably slows everything down.
I’m acutely aware of these protective patterns and work continuously to reduce their impact on the teams I lead.
Take a moment for reflection: what is your armour when things start to go sideways? You might ask peers or colleagues for their observations, though I’d suggest avoiding your direct reports. The power imbalance can skew their honesty. Have a think, and if you’re comfortable, share in the comments below.
Courage and Leadership
Leadership requires courage. This doesn’t mean leadership is only for the fearless. In fact, quite the opposite. The best leaders are afraid most days, if not every day.
Brown articulates a core definition of courageous leadership: self-awareness + accountability + humility. But most importantly, she emphasises that leadership is about serving others, not being served. That last part resonates deeply with me, so so much.
I wouldn’t describe myself as naturally courageous or bold. I’ve learnt to be more courageous over time. It’s most definitely a skill set I’ve developed, not an innate trait.
Four Pillars of Courageous Leadership
1. Know Your Values and Live Them
We all have values.
They guide us and inform our decisions, but do we actually live by them daily?
Mine are:
• Respect
• Compassion
• Fairness
• Growth
• Collaboration
• Humility
• Service
I believe I do a reasonably decent job of honouring these values in my daily work. They aren’t written down anywhere, but they serve as guiding principles that inform my decision-making as a leader. I’m fortunate that my company’s principles align closely with my own.
Pause for a second: what are your values? Do you live by them? How do they fit into your role as a leader?
2. Vulnerability Enables Authentic, Aligned Leadership
Vulnerability is not a weakness in leadership. Everyone is vulnerable every day. Vulnerability allows leaders to be authentic and demonstrates integrity.
I am vulnerable every day.
I don’t have all the answers, and I’m not afraid to admit it.
For a long time, asking for help felt like a weakness, but I’ve come to understand that vulnerability actually empowers me to collaborate and solve problems together. It’s not a weakness but a strength.
How vulnerable are you in your leadership role? Are you aware of your vulnerabilities?
3. Recognising Fear
Brown argues that fear isn’t the barrier to courage, our unconscious armour is.
We default to self-protection to mitigate vulnerability, especially when leading.
But it’s our job as leaders to cultivate self-awareness so we can identify when the armour slips into place under pressure.
My armour rarely comes off entirely. I recognise the fear, and I’ve become comfortable showing vulnerability both whilst leading and in my personal life.
But armour is heavy. It’s essential to recognise your fears and prevent the armour from remaining in place all the time. I am getting better to “disarm” but it is a slow, reflective journey and takes time, patience and support.
4. Learn to Disarm Yourself
Admit it: you probably already know your armour.
When things get tough, do you find yourself getting snappy or short in how you respond to people?
I do for sure, and I suspect many of us do.
I have to pull myself back, refocus, and remember that showing vulnerability isn’t a weakness.
The most important thing to remember when leading, whether you’re a seasoned professional, working your way up through the ranks, or like me, finding yourself here somewhat unintentionally, is this: who we are is how we lead.
We are all human, and if you lack the humility to examine how you respond to fear, leading people will ultimately become dangerous.
5. Discovering Your Armour
So, what can you do to get your armour in check?
Consider the following:
Self-reflection: Think about how you protect yourself when faced with uncertainty.
Peer feedback: Seek input from peers, a coach, or a therapist if you have one. Again, avoid asking direct reports—the power dynamic makes honest feedback difficult.
The ultimate question: “What sort of arsehole do I default to when I’m uncertain or afraid?” (This one always hits hard.)
Some examples that might help:
Do you become paralysed or hyperactive?
Do you withdraw or dominate?
Do you demand perfection or abandon standards entirely?
The Work of Ongoing Disarming
There’s no one-time fix.
Reflection is ongoing and should be practiced regularly. Going it alone can, in the words of The Beatles, “be a long and winding road,” so think about building your support system. It looks different for everyone, but lean on your peers, a coach, or a wider network.
Don’t be afraid to name your armour publicly and encourage shared language around self-awareness within your team.
Shift your thinking from being fearless to being brave enough to know your fears.
Why This Matters as a Leader
Leadership isn’t about convenience.
It might not be convenient to be empathetic or vulnerable, many would argue it’s a weakness, but great leaders don’t stop caring when inconvenience enters the equation. Leadership is about shouldering burdens, supporting others, and often being a beacon of light in difficult times.
It requires humility to acknowledge uncertainty and the courage to step up without armour.
Brown’s fireside conversation inspired me to consider how my armour often becomes a burdensome weight.
I over-internalise and allow self-doubt to cripple my courage to lead.
But it has also given me encouragement.
Whilst I’m far from great, or even particularly good, I will always choose humility, accountability, and continue the hard work of disarming to become a more courageous leader.
I’d love to hear what your go-to armour is and what you do to overcome it.
Share your thoughts in the comments.
That’s all for this week. Next week, we’ll explore the difference between empathy and compassion, and why one leads to burnout whilst the other fuels connection.
Until next time, keep leading.
Rich
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